smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
