oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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