what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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