I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
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Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
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I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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