I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
my nose is crying tears of wow.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
