My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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