There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
