don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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