I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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