Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
