Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
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