Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
