Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
