Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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