then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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