do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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