Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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