We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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