Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize