is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
