all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I have fence marks all over my body
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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