i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
i've created a new STD.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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