why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
