There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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