so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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