She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
