i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize