either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
