hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
