we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I touched a dick in church today
Randomize
