$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Boobs are out for the taking
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
