Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I skipped work to stalk him.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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