Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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