i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
