i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
