bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize