apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
