you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
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