he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
