before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
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