I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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