Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
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