No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize