I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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