We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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