Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
PANTIES FOUND
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