So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I just found puke in my bra..
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
