Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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