...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Randomize
