We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Randomize
