So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
