btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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