Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I am midnight drunk by noon
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize