very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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