I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Randomize