I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
