I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
