just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize