We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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